how to ask a girl what kind of relationship she wants

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If yous've met someone special and you've been hanging out for a while, you might feel similar information technology's time to popular the question (the girlfriend question, of course!). Thinking about asking someone to be your official girlfriend might have you freaked, so remember that it'southward okay to be nervous. By planning alee simply a piffling bit and keeping some pointers in mind, you tin can get the question out every bit painlessly as possible. If the timing is correct and she likes you lot dorsum, yous might only state a girlfriend!

1
Go to know her. If you're thinking most asking someone to be your girlfriend, yous might already know a little flake near her. Try to chat with her and find out what she likes, dislikes, what her hobbies are, and what she does for fun. If you lot feel upward to it, y'all can even add in a little bit of flirting here and there (a casual hand touch or a compliment would piece of work swell hither).^[1]
- You can chat with her 1 on one, or talk in a group setting, if you lot're more than comfortable that way.
- If you lot've been on a few dates before, y'all might already know a lot about her, which is swell!
2
Catch her at the right time. Try to pick a time to talk when there aren't a ton of distractions or people listening. You tin can meet up in a public park, have a walk around the block, or head to a pocket-sized coffee shop for some ane on one fourth dimension.^[2] ^[3]
- If the timing doesn't feel right or you run into a group of people, you can relieve your question for next fourth dimension. Don't experience pressured to ask if information technology doesn't feel right!
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iii
Engage in some light conversation. Enquire her about her solar day, tell her a funny story, or enquire what she's been up to. Fifty-fifty if you asked to hang out specifically and so you could ask her to be your girlfriend, at that place'southward no rush!^[4]
- Compliments are a keen get-to if you aren't sure what to say. Y'all could effort something like, "Your outfit looks really overnice today," or, "I only love your laugh!"^[5]
- You can also go on information technology casual with questions similar, "Then how is work going?" or, "Have you lot been staying cool in the hot conditions?"
4
Confess your feelings and ask her to be your girlfriend. When there's a lull in the conversation, accept it to a more serious territory. Tell her that you similar her and ask her if she'd similar to be your girlfriend. This is the most nervus-wracking office, simply you tin can do it!^[6]
- Endeavour something like, "And then nosotros've been hanging out for a picayune while, and I'g starting to have feelings for you. Would you like to be my girlfriend?"
- Or, "We've been friends for so long, I feel like I know y'all and so well. I really like you, and I wanted to ask if you'd like to exist my girlfriend."
5
Answer calmly, no affair what her answer is. If she says yes, it's time to celebrate! You tin can grin, laugh, and confess how nervous you were well-nigh asking her. From in that location, y'all can steer the conversation in another direction to move on with your night.^[7]
- If she says no thanks or that she's not set up to exist in a relationship, don't sweat information technology. Everyone's situation is different, and chances are, it doesn't have much to exercise with you anyhow. Y'all can go on hanging out with her or you lot can wrap up the night and caput domicile.
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1
Befriend her. Take the time to get to know her as a close friend earlier trying to progress to something more than. Learn nigh her friends, her family, and what she likes to do for fun to see if you two would be a good match.^[8]
- This will likewise requite you lot both fourth dimension to effigy out if y'all have feelings for each other.
2
Ask her to spend fourth dimension with you lot 1 on one. Once you attain a level of friendship that allows the ii of you to hang out without being in a group, invite her to spend some time with you alone. You could get to a park, a coffee store, or even out to dinner.^[9]
- If you want to be cautious, ask her to visit someplace familiar yet different, like a different coffee shop or a nearby park that you have both talked nigh wanting to visit.
- If you want to exist a little bolder, ask her to spend the afternoon or evening with yous without revealing your plans. You can take her out for a squeamish meal, an interesting show, or a night of dancing.
three
Consider giving her a small, inexpensive souvenir. Unless yous frequently throw gifts her way, a gift lets the daughter know that in that location is something different—and special—nigh your time together this twenty-four hours when compared to any other twenty-four hour period. A boutonniere of flowers is always overnice, or a box of chocolates to satiate her sweet tooth.^[ten]
- Giving her a gift isn't strictly necessary, so don't get out and become ane if information technology doesn't feel correct.
- Yous could also give her something that reminds her of an inside joke yous 2 have.
four
Tell her seriously how you feel. Afterward you have spent some time enjoying each other'southward visitor, sit down down with her and tell her that y'all have something of import to say. Once you lot have her undivided attending, tell her honestly that you lot have potent feelings for her and would like her to be your girlfriend.^[11]
- Try something like, "I really enjoy the time I spend with you and consider you an important part of my life. I can't help but have feelings for you past those of friendship, though. If you lot feel the same way, or think you lot could see me as a fellow, and so I'd similar to go out with you."
v
Accept her answer no matter what. If she says yes, and so you're in the clear! You can keep hanging out and celebrate the fact that you two are now a couple. Maybe snap a few quick selfies to remember the moment for the rest of time.^[12]
- If she doesn't accept, that's okay as well. You two can keep hanging out as friends equally you look for romance somewhere else.
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1
Strike up a coincidental conversation. Start out with a simple opener that gets the conversation flowing. You could ask her what she'south been up to, how her day is going, or what her plans are for the weekend. Try to avoid a elementary "hey," since that doesn't lead to much.^[13]
- Try something similar, "Hey! How did the test go today?"
- Or, "Got any plans for the overnice weather condition this weekend?"
ii
Ask her a few questions about her day. Continue on with your text convo every bit smoothly equally possible. You lot tin can see where the conversation leads naturally, or you can steer it by asking her questions nearly her day and what she'due south doing.^[xiv]
- Practiced examples include, "How are y'all feeling today?" "What have you lot been up to?" and "Did you lot have a nice 24-hour interval off?"
- If she'due south taking a long time to reply, don't sweat information technology—she'south probably merely busy. You can look until she replies to continue the chat or just try information technology once again some other mean solar day.
3
Send her some compliments or sweet messages. As your texting progresses, try flirting subtly with her past complimenting her or telling her how much you lot miss her. There's a fine balance between laying it on too thick and beingness sweet, so try to toe information technology equally carefully as possible!^[fifteen]
- Try something like, "Y'all always brand me express mirth."
- Or, "I wish I could see your pretty face correct now."
- You could even sprinkle in a few Emojis here and there to amp up the romance.
4
Tell her that y'all like her. If you're getting vibes that she might similar you as well, go ahead and let her know. You don't take to be super serious about it, so continue it fun and casual. This is a text convo, afterwards all!^[xvi]
- Try something like, "Hey, so I actually like you."
- Telling someone about your feelings over text isn't platonic, just if yous live far away or can't meet upwardly, it might be the only option you have.
5
Pop the question directly. Subsequently you confess your feelings to her, it'due south time to enquire the big question. Become ahead and transport that text message, even if it makes y'all super nervous. If you don't ask, y'all'll never know!^[17]
- A direct approach would be something like, "Will you exist my girlfriend?"
- Or you could endeavor, "I'd love information technology if nosotros could make our human relationship official."
6
Take her response with grace. If she says yep, wahoo! Y'all tin can ask her to see upwardly old soon face to face, or you lot tin call her on the phone to express how happy you are. Your efforts paid off, and at present you accept the girlfriend of your dreams.^[18]
- If she says no, that's okay too. Let her know that you lot respect her decision, and effort to remain friends, if you tin.
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Question

How do you get a girl to be your girlfriend?

Eddy Baller is a Dating Jitney based in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada. Coaching since 2011, Eddy specializes in confidence building, advanced social skills and relationships. He runs his ain dating consulting and coaching service named Conquer and Win, the but BBB accredited dating coaching business in Vancouver. Conquer and Win helps men worldwide have the honey lives they deserve. His work has been featured in The Art of Manliness, LifeHack, and POF among others.

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Expert Reply

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Y'all could ever effort giving her a compliment! This is an easy mode to commencement a flirty conversation with her. Tell her she looks squeamish and encounter how she responds. Effort to keep the chat going and then y'all tin can enquire her to exist your girlfriend.
Question

If she says she is not interested, what should I do?

This reply was written by 1 of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.

wikiHow Staff Editor

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Question

What should I do if she keeps on proverb I'll tell you tomorrow?

Drew Hawkins1

Community Answer

Try existence clear and direct and tell her that you need an answer. But at the same time, don't be pushy or aggressive. Make sure she knows it's okay if she says no.
Question

What if we tin't see each other, considering we live pretty far away from each other (about 35km)?

Drew Hawkins1

Community Answer

Distance tin can be tough on a human relationship, but if yous really like each other, y'all can make it work! Have an honest word with her well-nigh how you feel and if she thinks you can make the altitude work.
Question

If she is my friend's sis, then how should I advise to her?

Drew Hawkins1

Community Answer

If you lot two are actually meant for each other, your friend may understand. Talk with your friend and tell them how y'all experience before you endeavour to ask their sis to be your girlfriend.